Maggie (280-01)

Augusta Magdalene (April 21, 2004-July 7, 2004)

7/8/2004

MAGGIE

Today is the day after Maggie’s death. We are grieving so badly, and this is the first opportunity I’ve had to sit down and write something. I’m so sorry Maggie is gone. We loved her very much. Let me try to tell what happened.

Yesterday, I rode home from work with Carol. Our jobs were such that we were both late, as it was around 8:00 PM, but it was still light. I had penned the puppies up that morning, as I had been doing since completing the fence work, so when we walked through the outer gate, we didn’t really expect the two pups to greet us at our feet, except maybe Maggie, as she had escaped from the pen the night before. I commented to Carol that, “should I go in and change clothes first, or should I let the dogs out”, wondering if I should risk getting my good work clothes soiled by the dogs, which was common. I decided to use my key to open the door for Carol, and while doing so, Carol had glanced around the garage and seen at a distance, Maggie’s head thorough the fence gate motionless and called out “Thomas, I think Maggie is dead!” I thought to myself, don’t kid around like that. But with the door open now, I immediately ran to the pen, and found Maggie hanging by her neck, lifeless on the gate lock mechanism.

Not really accepting yet Maggie was dead, I lifted her down, and placed her on the ground. Gus, standing helplessly and whimpering only inches away, left the pen through the now open gate. I remember petting Maggie’s lifeless body. It was only partially stiff, with no visible trauma, and no blood, saliva or excrement of any sort. I remember thinking that she looked ok, and could just get up and everything would be ok. But, we had lost our beloved Maggie.

Maggie had managed to jump up higher than she could even stand on hind legs and in coming down, got her head caught between the two gates where they came together, and stuck on the gate lock mechanism, effectively hanging herself. In the last weeks, we had remarked on her ability to make seemingly carefree leaps, without regard for her own safety or for where she might land. After examining the area and circumstances, this is the only logical conclusion we came to. The height of the two gates, the knocked over water pale near by, and that Maggie’s back feet were off the ground tells us that she probably lodged herself between the two gates, and eventually succumbed to suffocation, heat exhaustion or shock, and died.

The fence and double gates that killed Maggie.

What we can’t figure out is what time of day this happened. Most likely right after we both had left for work she tried to get out. But stiffness was barely there. I am constantly going through the “what ifs” in my head. What if I had come home for lunch, or we had not run our errand after work, or had not been scheduled to work that day, or chained her instead of penning her, or what if we had moved to a larger property, or what if… Carol says don’t do that to myself, but I can’t stop myself. When we think of poor Maggie hanging there yapping and crying for help until completely tuckered out, with no one coming to her rescue, and poor Gus standing inches away but unable to help, well, it just draws our tears again.

Coming back to the house now, I had to tell Carol that our little puppy was dead. At that Carol cried severely, and I had to request her many times to not go back to the pen where I had laid Maggie on the ground. Gus somehow managed to get in the house (his first time), so I put him back outside before going to try to comfort Carol. I had re-closed the gate so that Gus would not be able to get close to Maggie’s body.

This night, Carol and I are heart broken. It just didn’t seem real, like a dream. Just this morning, I had fed Gus and Maggie with extra helpings and spent time with them before going to work. She had been as feisty and playful as ever, and only a while later she was gone! I consider Maggie’s death a great personal loss.

Maggie and Gus were 11 weeks old to the day. We had gotten them from Carol’s sister at only 6 weeks old. We had some pictures of them at six and nine weeks, but I was to take better and more up to date pictures at 12 weeks to place on our website, as I wanted to chronicle their lives in pictures and words on the internet. They both have drastically changed from 9 till now, and now look more like dogs than puppies. Having no children of our own, we had dreams of loving these two dogs, taking great care of them as they develop, taking them for walks and shots and everything good owners do for their dogs. Now I feel like Maggie was stolen from out from under us. We didn’t even have a chance to say goodbye.

Maggie was the people dog of the two, while Gus was the gentleman. Maggie would do just about anything to end up sitting in your lap if she caught you outside sitting on a patio chair. She was still small enough to sit (and sleep) on the door stoops waiting for one of us to come through the door, doing what ever should could to get higher and closer to one of us. And when she saw you, she would jump way higher than was safe for her, with complete disregard for the consequences where she might land. Sometimes, she even fell over backward trying to reach up to us. She was about half of Gus’ weight and size. Always playful. Always happy. She had unbelievable tenacity and determination. She was always the instigator in a play fight with Gus. Often I had to hold her back to allow Gus a moment to eat, or to greet us, or to not be pounced upon by Maggie. What unbelievable energy she had, probably the happiest dog I’ve ever seen. While Gus, a lovable pup himself, was uneasy about being held, or placed in your lap, although he does like his belly rubbed, and Maggie didn’t like being turned upside down.

It was Wednesday, and just Saturday we had begun penning the puppies up at night and while we were gone to work because of severe rambunctious activity. That Friday I had built a double gate fence structure to keep the pups secure in a large area behind and to the side of our garage. We talked about a high wood fence but decided on chain link so that the pups could easily see out into the back yard and get plenty of air blowing through the area. Loose in the yard, the puppies were destroying plants, digging holes in the grass and flower beds, and chewing on just about everything, even our toes. I was afraid they would dig out of the yard, so I felt penning them up was the best thing. But the previous night, Maggie had dug a tiny hole under the gate and slipped out and that morning we found Maggie sleeping on our patio by the back door, feet up and on her back, probably waiting for us to come out, as she had liked to do. She was not going to let a rediculous chain link fence stop her from being close to us. I picked her up and held her, finding it almost impossible to punish her for her determination to get free. I gently put her back in her pen for breakfast. I had scolded her before for digging and attempting escapes, but in hindsight I’m so glad I didn’t punish her this time. But now Maggie’s determination to get out ended up killing her. ot going to let a rediculous chain link fence stop her from being close to us. I picked her up and held her, finding it almost impossible to punish her for her determination to get free. I gently put her back in her pen for breakfast. I had scolded her before for digging and attempting escapes, but in hindsight I’m so glad I didn’t punish her this time. But now Maggie’s determination to get out ended up killing her.

When we brought Gus and Maggie home with us, it was a long trip by car. We had placed them both in a large box with newspaper and a little water. Maggie, the smaller of the two, tried so hard, and succeeded three times to get out of that box, just to lay on the car seat right beside the very box she just escaped from. She just wanted out of the box! And this held true later in her dog pen. She just wanted to get out of the pen. Succeeded once, but failed the final time.

Last night, we didn’t know what to do with Maggie’s body. I tried to reach the city’s animal control/dead animal pickup office but it was after hours. I called a local vet, who’s after hours message gave the number of a 24 hour animal emergency center. Of course Maggie was dead, but this center would take her body for cremation for a fee. Carol and I talked about burying Maggie in the yard for sentimental reasons. Or maybe, bury her over at my father’s property because there is so much room. Cremation seemed too impersonal and would be a disservice to a dog we loved. But our yard is so small, and for sanitary reasons, and because I didn’t want a reminder of her death every time I cut the grass, we took her to the clinic. By this time it was past midnight. Carol and I had had a long night of grief.

I didn't go to work today. Gus is moping around because he doesn’t have Maggie there to play with, or stir or rile or provoke him. He occasionally wonders back to the pen and sniffs around where Maggie was. Poor guy. I also think he senses the grief in Carol and I. This afternoon with Carol away, I try to play with Gus in Maggie’s stead. I gave him an old towel that he and Maggie used to play tug-o-war with because I think her smell must still be on it. But only temporarily can I get him to come out. Eventually, he is back in his corner on the patio, head down and listless. He won’t eat today, only drank some milk. The puppy’s pen is empty now. I will not put Gus in there now.

We had Maggie only five weeks. But I treasure the many memories of her. Like how an unbelievably feisty, rambunctious, determined, tenacious little dog would come to complete calm and be perfectly still when I held her. And when I had to give her a bath in the back yard, and how she used to terrorize Gus. And when they both ran to greet us when we came home, Maggie always first. And, her serious little grunting growl at Gus when playing. I have clear visual memory of Maggie and Gus romping and playing in the yard. This is how I want to remember her.

Oh I know someone reading this might not understand how we could be distraught over losing a puppy after only a short time. I would respond like this. Maggie and Gus had become a part of our family. Maggie was hand picked by Carol out of nine puppies because of her character. We started out wanting only one pup for now, but then decided that two would keep each other company. So we also chose Gus. Once before I had a beautiful German Sheppard named Magic. She lived to be 12 and a half, and finally succumbed to heartworms. I loved Magic and her death was very sad. At that I said I would never have another dog. Because humans become too attached to them, and their lives are way, way too short. But still the good times were worth it. So we tried again with Maggie and Gus.

And finally I would say that if you knew Maggie, you would understand.

Maggie, we miss you!

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